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Dating someone in recovery

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Have honest conversations about what the person in recovery is able to do, and what you are able to give. This is probably not a one-time conversation. This issue will most likely need to be revisited over time, since recovery looks different depending on how long someone has been sober and their confidence in their coping skills.

Like every relationship, trust is key. If anything, when addiction is involved, trust is more vital. This can be hard if you were in a relationship with someone during their lowest points of addiction.

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If you have seen them at the worst, or have years of experiences where they let you down, it can be difficult to trust them again. Make good ground rules and have open conversations about your difficulties believing your partner. The more transparent both of you can be, the quicker the trust will be rebuilt. Maybe you think he can have a drink or two.

You have to take him at his word. You may never fully understand the boundaries that your loved one has put in place, but trust that your loved one has set these limits for good reason. Recovery is not a valid excuse for not acting like a mature adult in a relationship. Keep good people around you—people who are wise, loving, who are good judges of character, who will tell you hard truths, who care more about your well-being than they care about being liked.


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You can also find a wealth of information resources at your local public library. Additionally, attending a support group for the friends and family of those in recovery may be beneficial.

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These groups let you learn more about addiction and recovery while providing a sympathetic ear when you face challenges in your relationship. People in recovery typically have a lot of meetings and appointments to attend. Time spent with addiction counselors and support groups is an investment in a better future for both of you.

Putting recovery first may also mean that you need to think about planning dates carefully. Instead of going to a club or bar, you may need to see a movie, go on a picnic, or entertain like-minded friends at home.

8 Tips for Dating Someone in Recovery | Waypoint Recovery Center

People in recovery all have certain sights, sounds, and situations that can trigger the urge to drink or use drugs. For example, visiting a place that one used to go while intoxicated is a common trigger. Talk to your partner about his or her cravings and what triggers the urge to use. When you love someone in recovery, you can often become so preoccupied with their needs that you forget to focus on caring for yourself.

No matter how complicated your relationship gets, you need to make time for well-balanced meals, exercise, sleep, and stress-relieving activities. Self-care is not selfish.

Taking care of your own needs gives you the strength to fully participate in the relationship. Every couple has disagreements and obstacles to navigate.