A shy geek and a smooth operator….
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He is searching for love and putting himself out there. This guy shares an enduring story of his first attempt at on-line love. He is down-to-earth and romantic yet has a nerdy side. For those of you out there that are good looking and striking out with women—balance is what equals success. To better understand the importance of combining contrasting qualities check out the dating username guide by clicking here. Here ye, Here ye Knights in Shining Armor, there is something I must inform you about this profile…it is off due to a few things.
Did you figure out what that might be? Take the quiz for instant enlightenment! A modern day Arthur Rimbaud, if you will. Recently my best friend paid me this compliment: I spend a lot of time thinking about: When will they make male birth control pills? How to make more desserts on the BBQ. If everyone Wang Chungs tonight, what would tomorrow be like? Or the great debate of green vs red Tabasco, do you want the heat or the flavor? This guy is a walking dichotomy.
Most women like the notion of being grabbed hard and kissed soft, and this fellow looks like he can get the job done. He has a whimsical side and women always respond well to that—it allows them to fantasize. There is some stuff going awry. The Doc breaks it down like Charlie Brown for you when you take that quiz….
This dating profile has been added to The eDatingDoc Academy: Online Dating Workshop for Men. A woman's perspective on this dating profile: This guy does a great job at putting the girl at ease. He starts off his profile by being humorous and even a bit on the mysterious side. Girls fancy mystery as long as the truth gradually comes to light as the relationship progresses. He also has tapped into his childlike side, which is always an endearing quality.
Then I get real hungry. I like public transportation and wandering around cities. Seeing them, climbing them, smelling them. I like the thin air of it all. I also like playing basketball and dancing. Team Sports that involve running are good. I have a neglected string-guitar named Calypso, who now only has They make me nauseous. Wasteland, by Dan Bern, is the best song of the past 15 years live version only. The studio version sounds neutered. You are beautiful, kind, compassionate, intelligent, witty, wonderful, giving, generous, self-assured, modest, humble, outgoing, shy, etc.
Or if you just want to give me something valuable, like eternal wisdom, a free ticket to Paris, or a house. This guy comes off as a solid, down-to-earth, sweet gent with a great sense of humor. But in no way is he a pushover or worse yet, boring. When he describes what he enjoys, he does it in a way that the vision is clear. I can see the mountain, the banjo and even taste the bananas. He has stimulated my sense and women appreciate that ability in a man. He brings to light his positive attributes and makes light of his quirky preferences. I want to get to know him, and meet his banjo and guitar insert wink.
Hook the reader in without giving away everything—good going Mr. I love to listen to smooth jazz music as I relax on my back patio. I loooove to sing Luther Vandross songs. Also, I would love to be blessed with the lady of my life. Want to know more??? Hate being told lies??!! I receive messages frequently but I do respond quickly.
A few things important to me: Jesus Christ, God, music, movies, laughter, sex, and peace of mind. If you win my sweepstakes, you will automatically win a chance to do these things with me as well. He represents the kind of guy that will keep me in stitches and feeling good. Including your specific sense of humor is important. The eDatingDoc is to the rescue…. I love to live an active life and explore. I am very passionate about helping others and I am currently in the process of putting together a fundraiser to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis by climbing Mt.
The climb is also being dedicated to one of my patients that I have become very close to who loves adventure and mountains although unfortunately his lung function prevents him from chasing his dreams due to the high altitude. Old fashioned to a certain degree. I laugh every chance I get. I have a love for the outdoors and anything that involves me being on the water. This guy likes to keep things short, and sweet yet what he writes about is compelling.
Showing compassion towards others is a very positive character trait that will win you points with women. Roses are red, violets are blue…. To wrap things up: Take my Online Dating Analyzer Quiz help with your exact next step…. But as far as dating profiles go…. A mix of seriousness added in would make these profiles perfect! These guys have revealed very little about who they are, in a sense. I bet they would be worth meeting! I know the post was a bit long because of the examples so I think you may have skipped several awesome profiles. You say these profiles reveal very little about themselves.
I see a bit of mystery as a good thing, no a great thing. What more do you think they should reveal? You also seem to be implying that if a guy is a serial killer or a bank robber that he is going to list it in his profile. Guys know women are extremely judgemental creatures and will judge everything and anything about a guys profile. We keep ourselves a mystery partly because women like that and partly because we are afraid we might say something about ourselves that will make a woman judge us and never even wish to meet us. One caveat to this though Dustin is that too many guys are complete pushover pleasers and are scared to mention even the main things they find most important for fear of running off a girl.
When I stopped trying to please everyone and learned to communicate my main needs without worrying about who I was going to push away, I started attracting the type of women that I really fit with. Another issue with playing it safe and trying to cast a wide net is that you force the girl to switch her screening process over to depend more heavily on superficial things like looks, height etc.
I definitely agree with you to keep things mysterious but think getting some core things down are better than being super generic. Not sure how other dating sites do it though. Dustin and Mike are spot on. Best to keep things brief. I find most men on match to have redundant and boring profiles, which may or or may not be an indicator of what they will be like in person. Which site are these guys on? Lol and why did you remove the 2 top secret profiles? Most men DO have boring profiles.
What happened to the Top Secret profiles? I find the opposite is true Tony. Women are very attracted to intelligence. What makes you think that? There are many types of intelligence. Was I being a smart ass? Did I really listen? Did I make them feel stupid with my lack of tactfulness? Can you give some tips or examples, how to have a good profile intro? Howdy Marcel — I added a ton of new examples to the Academy Course. I have to keep some things for the Academy Members. I posted two profiles with virtually identical, non-descript headlines, listing all the things that had happened to me online turned into quite a psycho-rant before it was axed!
Whilst I got some comments with my own picture complaining how harsh I was being…. So your saying a male model got more emails than you did with the same profile. Uhhh — Not sure what you proved there other than male models attract women……. How about I do a free in-depth video profile critique for you as long as I can show it on my site. I tried to help him but no dice. I would totally take that challenge. I loved this article!! Now, can you create the same but for women?? Pretty please wish sugar on top?? Then, yesterday, I read this really great profile.
Cute guy and everything. Please know a few things: Not really any responses but much more interest. Again thank you for your advice. Online dating is very intimidating but a useful tool especially when someone like myself find it difficult to say these things in person but much easier and more relaxing with a little buffer. Your hard work surely has paid off. I sent you an email Aaron. Also check out the eDatingDoc Academy or my free profile analyzation tool: Dear Radio, You are hilarious!
Thanks for stepping up to your true calling. BTW — Is that a hint of Texan in your voice? God, I just want to pour acid in my eyes every time i see it….!!!! They are the ones in the dead center of the Mediocrity Bell Curve. Even felt bad for leading him on, but kept seeing other guys. He started pursing me like crazy, he was very very nice to me, so eventually i have started liking him. I have enjoyed being treated like a princess and thought to myself "wow, this guy is really nice and is really into me, who else would treat me like that?
And i decided to give it a chance and started developing feelings too. After 2 months, we were hanging out one evening, and he started going on and on about how he can't believe that he met someone so amazing online, how he did't expect this to happen, how he is sick of online dating and doesn't wanna see anyone else. So we talked and decided to make it serious and delete our profiles in front of each other. So all was great, no problems, fights or other issues. Again, why start and waste 2 months of my life?
The last guy, was actually the first one i have liked instantly. I wasn't expecting that, but i really liked him the moment i met him. He seemed interested too. He complained to me about online dating from male point of view, how most of the women he met are boring. He is highly educated and is very picky about intelligence of women he dates, and he said he was amazed by me, because he felt it was so easy to talk to me right away, i'm smart and attractive.
He was asking me out every days which was unusual and it told me he is really into me. He was also very nice to me and we could talk forever. He has to wake up early for work, but we were still talking and making out till late when we saw each other. After 3 weeks, i had crazy feelings for him, and he seemed to have too. He canceled one of the dates for seemingly legit reason. I was cool about it, and told him that its ok, and we can see each other some other time.
After that, he became very distant. Disappeared for a few days, then messaged again apologizing telling me about the problems he had. Then he would just randomly message me every few days, but never offered to go out again. And eventually just stopped messaging me. I think men and women gave different problems with online dating, but we ha e it equally hard. Guys don't get responses, women find players. I completely agree with what a lot of men are saying. I was married 30 years only to be violently attacked by an alcoholic wife.
I set myself out there and the women just play games. They say stupid things and just look for attention. I'm seriously disappointed in what appears to be the feminist movement in this country. They try to use their sexual prowess instead of their intelligence, which most are seriously lacking, and again, play games.
They are not serious and don't care about a good relationship. I'm sure it's true there are a lot of men jerks but we are all stereotyped that way. Please be ladies OK? Have some respect for the opposite sex and if you're not serious just stay the heck away all right? There are good men like me out there. And you ladies that look so good in your photographs are just absolutely narcissistic and hideous with the way you speak to us. Please get over yourselves and take your meaningless time wasting profiles down and go gaggle in the mirror at yourself.
It's really too bad. I have been giving this a good shot for months and actually have made a few good friends but have run into so many Queen bees that I am ready to give up. It is really is a waste of money and time. Every review that I read about online dating is a bad one. The whole industry is sickening; praying on the people that yearn to love and be happy only to let them down.
In one state in Australia where I live I've found it even more difficult to meet a good, down-to-earth woman online. I don't put women on pedestal, had my fair share of relatioships but I"m also shy and busy so i'd really like to see some online dating work. I'm in no rush, but why can't I just find a healthy smart woman who is NOT self-obsessed, for some good online conversation?? At least most guys get some kind of comment. I was on four different popular sites in the last few years I got only a wink or very short text and just one.
Met only one woman at a car show for two hours then she got a call and had to get going. I'm real shy too but I feel I sent out some really good icebreaker messages, I put a lot of thought into them, to always sound upbeat and funny. But never got any comment, not even a thanks but no thanks, seems like they don't even get them, but the scammers sure answer quick with a too good to be true letter and great pictures.
I was married for fourteen years and divorced for eleven. Was her idea for the split, shes remarried a few years I can't even get a date yet. Think she put a curse on me lol. Can't believe so many people jump in bed on the first date, both sexes. It's that kind of life style that hurts so many people,that nobody trust anybody anymore and I can't say that I blame them. Which I've never done before, maybe this will work, who ever reads this might know of somebody through the grape vine.
I know there's good ones out there I just read some of there letters here. There's too many bad ones out there in the way of us good one's. I Know this is a little off the wall but I'll give it a shot. If there's any good one's out there please I'd love to meet you. I'm trying something different, by, bypassing all the dating services. Because, really from the comments I've read about all these dating sites. There's a lot of unhappy people out there, wish they'd quit playing games and say what they really think, that's what I try to do.
The same pigs have shown up on all of the dating apps I have used. I originally started with plenty of fish, where I met two very good long-term friends, but no romantic chemistry. The majority of the other users were soliciting inappropriate photos and sending them as well. A few mentally unstable messages followed rejections. There are just as many people looking for hook ups on match.
Disappointing as to what society has become. I don't agree entirely with this article.. I use dating sites and am smart using them, as a result I don't get harassed. If the woman is smart and secure of herself instead of making it easy for the man it would make dating for a female easier.
Here's What Dating Sites Are Like If You're A Woman
A lot of women are Insecure of themselves and a man can sense that, if I get a sexualized message instead of being afraid I just message back and say"you're disgusting best of luck. Just saying an insecure woman who acts fearful is more bound to be harassed on these sites. I've also met and dated plenty of men from free dating sites that are seeking a commitment, don't assume ALL men only want a hookup that's not at all true. More so want Casual stuff but if you spend enough time online you'll meet decent men that want a relationship.
I had 2 boyfriends come from OkCupid, there are good ones online too. Don't make yourself vulnerable and easy for the men! Nail very much hit on the head. Online dating for girls that are decent and offline for that matter requires work and a combination of common sense, good judgement and patience. Same thing for decent guys going online - it requires work and there are guides out there that go a bit further than the generic "read her profile" advice given here if guys looked hard enough for them and that easily help them stand out.
Are these the worst online dating profiles ever?
I think the problem is these days people are more desperate than ever for a quick fix and dismiss new ideas if they don't see sparks flying first go. I saw similar things in college where most my friends got brutally negative, generic and uninformed advice particularly if parents had no clue about their field if they hadn't gotten a job within 1 week of graduation.
You cant seriously sitt there and say honestly that women have dating harder than men. I mean seriously, is that honestly what you think? You watch as your sanity melts away from the slow burning tourture of loanliness, you would go mad, anyone would. It amazes me how selfish women are, it really does, id love to give you all my pain just for one day sso you would understand the utter hopless misery that men have to face! I hate this life i just want to die. I just cant beleive any woman would sit there and say she has it harder than men.
You have no idea what decades of blanket rejections and loanliness would do to you, it would kill you, its true hell. Yeah obviously easier for women. Men have to work hard even to get validation from girls while women have men blowing up their phones boosting their ego by chasing them. Guys be happy with even unwanted attention from opposite sex. Women can't make up their minds because of all their o ptions.
While men don't have nearly the same amount of options or experience. They can get attention and sex easily while guy gets neither easily cuz he has to compete for it. Competing, chasing and getting rejected can be so discouraging that you question if it's worth it if girls are so narcissistic and dismissive to guys' advances. Women never deal with rejection the way guys do.
They never put themselves in that position and so they are constantly avoiding rejection and receiving positive attention from guys chasing them. Why sex so "creepy? Means guy attracted to you. Take it as a compliment. Why society berate the guy for being a man?! You put up a pic, put little work into your profile, and yet expect so much from the guys who contact you?
You even admit you receive nice messages, but refuse to even acknowledge such guys? Not even a simple thank you back? What does that say about you?? Congrats on the ego stroke, but I'm not taking the bait. Lot of guys of looking for someone to actually date, and you aren't that person. Your advice simply does not apply. Lots of good n bad on it. As soon as i read your name i knew you were an Aussie, i agree with your sentiments regarding dating sites, they're about as barren as some pubs are these days I was recently scammed on Match.
There have been class action suits against Match for portraying themselves with 15 million users when only a million are paid subscribers and the rest contain a lot of scam artists looking to relieve you of your cash. The whole site is a scam in the sense they want to auto renew your subscription which is hard to stop once you sign up. I wonder if any of the people on the site are real at all! It is and some are, had a bunch of dates on there before I met my girlfriend who we now live together and have a beautiful baby boy with Where as in the real world it is harder for men to key in on victims.
You just have to be more careful use an extra screening process and not take things so personal knowing it is a numbes game and nothing that is exceptional should be expected or necessarily easy to obtain Just like life if you want something special sometimes it takes hard work! I think I'm being scammed. I put a report with the fbi a month ago. I'm waiting for them to respond. I'm keeping him on the hook until I hear from the agency. So they can take over and catch him. I've been asked for money. His company name I have researched. It's a generic website and the addresses I looked up for his offices show no record of his company ever being there.
Lease records and such. He has an Enflick voip number, but his last picture looks like a location of what he's stated. I can't find evidence his pictures are reposts of someone else. How do I proceed safely until the authorities arrive? I am a good looking guy not a model will not say that not arrogant but 5'10 and pounds. Last time l was online dating was about 10 years ago meet my ex wife and the mom of our daughter through lavalife.
This time I find pof a total waste of time I am a gold member but our of couple of dozens ladies I contacted 1 only replied back and she told me you are a really nice man and wish you best of luck but just started to date a man. I am only 40, leave in greater Vancouver, bc have a good job and rent a 2 bedroom place on my own plus drive a suv.
It seems maybe wrong that the idiot men have flooded the ladies to Mt he point they tune out even great men or that many sadly l suspect accounts on pof now are fake. Either way l am at the point of giving up and l am sure l was not the first or last normal nice man to reach this point due to no ladies replying back at all. Dont give up fella, just work harder and lower expectations of how quickly results should come I've been doing online dating for only a few months seriously. Anyway, what I am seeing is a growing disconnect and a lot of people getting disgruntled. I have to admit I was too in the beginning.
I think it is because one develops expectations based on statistics instead of reality. I thought, at first, "wow, so many women to see who I really am"! Statistically speaking, I should get a few responses. So I start examining the numbers game and thought I could play a little with it. I want to be strategic about this, right? I try to throw in a little humor if I can, but my first message, if there is something in her profile, ALWAYS contains at least one if not a few references to hers. I write in complete sentences and try to seek ways to spark a conversation. I make no lewd comments whatsoever.
I don't even reference anything about looks except once and that was a weak moment on my part since she her picture affected me that way, plus it was an experiment to see if venturing there yielded anything different. I also try to not be unrealistic as far as types of women I try to engage. I am 52, 6' 2", a little under lbs, no paunch, somewhat athletic and active, and I feel I am decent looking but have no idea how to quantify that. After reading about how to write a profile, I feel I've written a strategically thorough yet somewhat concise one.
I will say that overall, I am an eclectic type that's hard to describe very thoroughly: I am personally open to a wide variety of situations, but I feel most women want some kind of commitment. I don't game because I haven't dated in almost thirty years. I had been married for about 27 years and now divorced for a year. So I am not even sure what this "game" they keep talking about really is, although I have an idea.
Whatever it is, I would certainly abide by the wishes and expectations of whomever I want to see and date. What are you doing? If I try to go deeper at all, they either disappear or keep repeating themselves probably catfishers since other things about their profiles make their seeking me unrealistic. Then, I have had a couple go a few sentences longer, but almost all have ended.
Unfortunately, one had a legitimate mental disorder from traumatic brain injury. I tried to make this one work, but we just could never connect. One other one is so far away, I am still seeing where it goes. But so far, at best we'll be friends and no dates unless I travel over miles to another country. I've sent dozens of messages not hundreds yet , along with "winks" do these even work? I am paid on POF so I can see where a ton aren't read. A few read, some read then deleted and some deleted outright. I respect the deleted ones, so I don't even bother. A few of those were probably out of my league anyway I was too old, or they were way more active or maybe interests didn't match.
I had hoped that I would have gotten a little more response out of the others, especially ones who were mutual "meet me" that POF has. But even that didn't garner a response. So then I don't know if sending more messages is expected, tacky, pestering, or what. I feel like I need to based on what some women seem to be saying because mine are probably getting lost in the shuffle and I need to work at keeping myself visible.
So, in my disappointment, I have been researching what is really going on. I've found many posts like this about what women "deal with". And I find it interesting how they have the opposite challenge most of the time. And I was honestly surprised at how jaded they get, but I don't blame them because of all these goofball, creepy, lewd, stalker responses they get. Now I see a dilemma. The nice guys, of which I consider myself right at the center of not so nice that I would be boring, but definitely nice enough to be respectful of a woman and her boundaries and that no means no , can't get responses let alone dates.
The nice women seem to get nothing but tons of messages to try to wade through. Who knows where all the drain and noise is coming from, though we know the sources such as scammers, desperate loser types, stalkers, catfishers, etc. And there doesn't seem to be too much that can be done about limiting that.
However, if we are aware of it, we can do things to try to counter it. It also seems that we need to become more strategic and not so bitter about how to approach all of this. I see where a bridge needs to be built here somehow. Maybe the nice guys need to be recognized more somehow by getting in kind responses from women.
If you get a nice initial message, at least say no thank you and even a brief idea of how good the message was. Us guys get no clue whether we are sending out the right message or not. It would even be nice to get some kind of rating system going like eBay or something. This weird limbo of never knowing if it was the message, the profile, the pictures or if who we messaged is overwhelmed is really tough to deal with. It would also be nice to have women realize that if they are getting decent if not outright nice messages more than once from a guy, that these guys are just trying to stay on top of the crap that that woman is otherwise getting; that they aren't stalking or pestering, they are just wondering if they are getting heard at all.
I don't know what to do about the jerks. I think a lower percentage of guys that are like this are out there. But for some reason these idiots are taking up all of the dating bandwidth. And about the only thing I can see nice guys who really want this to work bringing to the table is to just not get bitter and disappointed.
I don't know, it is really hard to see how to break this cycle that is destroying online dating for the majority of us. It would be helpful to know that possibly a new kind etiquette be understood by women that repeat messages that are nice should be acceptable and that we men kindly engage them with these; that we get a chance to overcome the idiots by countering them somehow. Also, maybe people could work up some kind of meta-dating situation something like responding to websites about online dating or, as I said above, some kind of rating system?
For me, online dating is about my only hope of meeting anyone. I am not religious nor do I drink, even coffee it puts me to sleep. I have food allergies and sensitivities. I work online from home. As a result, I don't go to any place of worship, I don't club or do bars, I can't eat at any restaurants, and I don't have a work environment with other people. I actually have very few friends despite my best efforts. I keep running across so many people with involved lives of which I am just not a part including my family.
So, online is the only place I can even think about meeting people. I go for walks in the park, to the library, and around downtown. What also challenges me is that I am fairly introverted. On top of all this being much older, I have not the foggiest idea on how to hit up a conversation with a woman I've never met before.
I didn't when I was twenty I met my former wife through very unusual circumstances involving an acquaintance and what little dating I did then I did all though people I knew. How am I going to do it at over fifty and not seem weird? Another approach I am trying is to get involved with community events and groups. But once again, very few, if any women attend what I tend to go to, let alone any who are in my age group and meet other modest criteria, none having to do with "looks". For instance, I go to a drum circle the only one within 30 miles of me.
Of available women who show up a few unavailable do , it is pretty much just one in her 80s along with over twenty guys. Women tend to do things like Zumba, dance, yoga or other exercise classes where if I showed up, it would be creepy since it will be assumed I am there for only one reason. I would love it if I would be accepted as a drummer for belly or tribal dance, but alas, the same creep factor seems to be at play. Well, I could probably say more, but I hope to start a conversation about what can really be done about this issue and not just complaining about it.
I would really like to overcome the disconnect with what is happening between guys and gals and to renew proper expectations. Otherwise, it will become one of the biggest fails of our technological communications age. David, what an extremely sensitive and impressive person you are, they are very pwrceptive observations would have been nice to write you up as a friend Do you ever submit correspondence on quora..? Upload your photo's and fill your profile.
Look for the bad ones and write a blog post. Start looking for men. Initiate the conversation with the man, and let him rate you as you like to rate men. Not all guys are bad, but not all women are either, and for every man out there sending women messages that women don't want there is a woman out there who thinks she is worth more then men so she doesn't have to give what she takes. You've been telling men they are doing it wrong for centuries.
How about you step up to the plate then? I am trying once again with the online dating. I read the response of the recently divorced 62 year old man in Vancouver. If you haven't been on a date in 27 years, don't be too disappointed if you can't get one right away. As you said, you and your recent ex were introduced. Probably you had mutual acquaintances and got the opportunity to know one another over time. The only relationships I ever had started this way. Through friends, meeting at a party, seeing the person regularly in my community.
If you don't drink, you can still no to a bar.
There are loads of places where people socialize, listen to music, dance. Have a club soda if you don't drink alcohol. I try to read the on line profiles of the men who send me messages. I am never married with no kids. A recently separated man is not for me. He is not actually single. I dated a man who claimed to have been divorced for many years. He is very involved with his ex wife mother of his adult son as she had an accident and is helping to take care of her.
The son 30 years old is a good kid but has a miriad of personal and health problems. He also had a large extended family he spends a lot of time with. This is great, but I was wondering where I fit in. Apparently he is looking for a lover and was VERY forward practically dove on me on our first date. I am a slow starter and do not appreciate this type of thing.
On line dating is not so easy for the over 50 set. Also, since I am not divorced, I usually ask the men why they are divorced. Most do not want to talk about it, so that is a non starter for me. If the person cannot express to me why their marriage did not work out, their are probably a lot of thing they will not be able to express to me. Just hang in there. Consider yourself lucky for having had a long marriage. If their is a particular reason why your marriage ended, reflect on it honestly so you can communicate it to a new woman who comes into your life. She will probably ask about it.
In the meantime, don't think about all the limitations you express about all the reasons you cannot "go out". You say you go to the park. Ask a woman to meet you there. You don't have to drink coffee. Just buy one for her. Can you go to a museum? If you get to know her better and you like each other, you can cook a meal for her.
Take her to a concert, go to a play. There are loads of graduate schools that put on excellent performances of all kinds that are very reasonably priced or free. How in the world do you expect to meet a woman if you do not move away from your computer screen? If you do not step out from. I paid for an eHarmony subscription for a year because I heard such positive reviews about their matchmaking algorithm, but found that many of the guys also had profiles on POF so I didn't see the point in paying anymore. EHarmony was great in that you could only connect with someone with whom you were deemed compatible, but new matches were sent infrequently.
POF allows anyone to contact anyone so it is easy to be bombarded with unwanted messages from incompatible suitors, but it's free. My biggest complaint about online dating is the deplorable lack of manners and grammar. I don't believe I have ever received a message containing even one punctuation mark in the two years I've been a member on POF, and the messages can be outright lewd!
I've also been the target of a determined fellow more than once, so it really comforted me to read this author experienced the same. I do not engage with users who are disrespectful, have clearly not read my profile, or lack even a basic understanding of spelling and grammar, and I typically delete these unwanted messages. If you're reading this, guys, please take the author's advice and actually read our profiles before you randomly solicit us for sex, and for heaven's sake use complete sentences!
I look for men who DONT want children I have them already, and finding someone who is happy to date a single mum Even if getting attention IS easy, does it mean the man is necessarily right for me? I read the profiles carefully. And if they read mine carefully, they might discover that I am really not right for them. I get attention from men all the time. And I speak to men all the time.
Finding a special person is not easy for a man or a woman. Speaking from personal experience, a man who has poor hygiene and no employment or income is not the man for me. He doesn't have to be rich. I will not date a man who asks me to borrow money or cannot pay for a cup of coffee. If he cannot bother to take care of his teeth, shave or put on a clean shirt, what makes him think I would want to get physically close to him?
This is pretty basic stuff. The truth is, it is not easy for a man or a a woman to find a good partner. Do you know what you are looking for? If it is just "attention", that is easy to find. If is is a long lasting relationship with a suitable partner, that is not so easy for a man or a woman to find. Get over the idea that you do not get enough "attention".
Personally, I am very allergic to animals. I live in a city and would not date a man with animals. It makes me uncomfortable as I physically cannot tolerate them. I would never ask the man to give up his pet, so when I see a man is an animal lover, I don't respond. It is not that I do not like animals, I just cannot breathe around them. I had one boyfriend with a dog who kept the animal very clean, his home was spotless he had a professional housekeeper and dog groomer.
He also did not allow the dog to lie on the furniture or the bed and was very sensitive to the fact that some people are allergic to animals. I was able to date that man. It is really the exception, however. Other men I know with pets like to lounge with them, sleep with them, have them hang out everywhere. That's absolutely great, but it does not match up with me.
So I do not reply. Think about all the reasons a woman might not reply. Do you live miles away? Are you spending all your time and money on your children from your previous marriage? Nothing wrong with being a responsible parent, but where does that leave the single woman with no kids you want to date? If she is also divorced with school aged kids, maybe it's a possible match. Women do not "have it easy". And neither do the men. As a man who has NEVER had a date from the 3 main sites I have used, I can categorically say that; even if you read a profile, send a nice message and be pretty much, charming Us "men" get ignored or blocked.
I have been blocked many times for just being interested about a lady's profile. I don't say anything sexual and I am always polite. They want someone to chat to and, when they get bored, there's always more men to choose from. Women will get around messages every few days. They may be crappy messages but it's still a message.
All I see woman say on profiles is how men pester them with sexual comments and, if they are not sexual, all they say is; "hi". As a man who has NEVER had a date from the 3 main sites I have used, I can catagorically say that; even if you read a profile, send a nice message and be pretty much, charming I am a woman and just gave up on POF and Eharmony because I did not receive 1 message in the whole 6 months I paid to be on both sites. Not lewd, poorly written or otherwise.
So I don't' see how it is harder for a man who can message anyone he likes, than it is to sit and wait and get nothing. Even "unattractive" men get more attention than that. But if you are an average or worse looking female, you might as well not even sign up. You would be lucky to get get a reply. And as far as average women, let me tell you I'm not one to judge but I know women who by most standards would be considered below average.
She has showed me. And secondly it's hard not to get a bit of any ego or get pick when you feel you have the power of choice. Lastly unattractive men do not get a response period. They either get laughed at, get turned into a joke, or have woman block them or threaten them simply for showing interest even if they did so in a completely normal, acceptable way.
I'm not saying whether you had it hard or not. But if you think any mean who isn't on the higher side of average is realistically getting any attention you have alot to learn about the male side of this. Also why can't you intimate a conversation? I'm female and I've been on Match on and off 3 times. First when I was 50 and looked Then 55 and looked 50, etc.
I look great and younger. I had pretty much nothing but weirdos asking for pics naked before we met really? Out of all this, I had a few coffees and drinks I won't go to dinner with someone that I haven't met, as I don't want to waste their money or mine if we don't click a bit, so it's coffee or drinks at first out of many responses, I had no one go out with me that I responded to, I had 2 crazy men I ended up leaving the date after they got weird, and only 1 man who I am still friends with 5 years later.
We never became romantic as there was no spark, but we hit it off as friends, something I wasn't looking for, really, but, I figured, oh, well, a single woman can always use a guy friend, and we help each other out with chores. He helps me with yard work and woodworking, I help him with laundry and ironing. Not often, but from time to time we hang out. I don't think its possible for someone in my age group to suceed on line.
To women who think that men that get no responses on dating sites are genetic losers or something, you couldnt be more wrong. I get a lot of attention from women outside, im 6 foot 2 and confident and women respond a lot to it. I also look better in real life than on a selfie, id need a professional photographer almost to make me look how I look at myself in the mirror thats what others see anyway.
I've seen similar guys as me, popular guys that try tinder and get zilch. Is it our fault for not wanting to work more on our profiles and hire professional photographers? Anyway I find anyone who spends more than 2 hours on an internet profile is wasting their time. I'll just stick to real life, where women show a lot more judgement. I am 6 foot and confident and well dressed. I have a job and I am reasonably good looking. These 2 gentleman are correct. There is no point to it anymore. It's a losing game and it's only getting worse. We aren't trying to bat out of our league either, it just is what it is.
Online dating is dying and women killed it. This is my situation. My online profile gets less attention than my real life presence I'm a bit ticked. I currently have 3 women I work with that I'm not really interested in at all totally keep giving me the "I want you look". I don't like going to bars because I'm not much of a public social drinker, and I abhor 1 night stands with people I don't know very well. I'm not very tall 5'11" and apparently good looking enough to always attract attention from someone at least once a month.
I've had way more success than most men on dating sites. Most of the women I've met just want casual sex, typically one night stands. My last two girlfriends from POF were abusive and one pretended to be pregnant. Most women I've chatted to without meeting just wanted an ego boost or to talk to "friends" on a dating site! Any woman is going to get a ton more genuine guys than a man will get genuine women.
It's a numbers game and the numbers will always favour the girls. Let's hear about how terrible it is for women. Ok lil boys and girls, heres what they dont tell you and why you do or dont get replies based on your gender. In the age groups.. First the women on these sites. Now guys for the most part my brethren are the same except where as the women imply theyre single, you retards take off your wedding rings and replace them with credit cards, because all your looking for is a piece if strange and an ego boost cause you knocked up your ol'ladies and no one told you after she pops out a few lil ones her tits are gonna sag and her ass is gonna get wider than broad st, so you think your entitled to go out and chase young strange until you get caught, then you whine like the bitches you are when you do , and dont wanna give up the old and busted til you have the new hotness commited , basically just like all the women do Dating sites are a waste.
I've spent two years and read a lot of columns like this and put the advice into practice. I've had 6 dates, none of which panned out. I'm a decent guy; solid career, clean background my job requires security clearance , I'm NOT looking for a hookup, I always try to start conversations with their interests, and I even got female friends to vet my profile.
Yet while I make it clear I'm looking for a serious relationship, I get hit with "oh, I am just looking for a friend, not dating". I get to the point of meeting in person Had several who suddenly realize they are not ready to date again I'm 47, most singles my age are divorced. What I've found is the old stereotype is often true; if a guy isn't really hot or really wealthy, there's no interest.
One who I went on a date with actually said I was too nice. One asked me to text a picture I have several in my profile, both headshot and full head-to-toe photos , then literally said "oh I did the "fake profile" test, left most details the same. Changed my name put up photos of a relatively unknown in the U. The rest of the details job, interests, kids, etc.
I not only was flooded with messages, several were the SAME women who had not given the "real me" even a reply. Otherwise, you're going to spend a lot of time staring at your keyboard. Robert, you left one factor out. What would you rate your physical attractiveness on a scale from ? I'd also ask what was the attractiveness of the women you were messaging?
If you feel you're a 6, you should be messaging 4s or less. I'm a man, and I just started using a dating site to see if I could meet someone. It was kind of an accident that I found myself on OKcupid, but I was recently single after many years and figured wth. Initially I had good success meeting women, and had a few dates. Still they were positive experiences and friendly ladies though one seemed offended My profile was kind of sparse and direct.
I read up some about online dating and made my profile more detailed and joined PoF too. I think I've written decent opening messages, and a few I thought would for sure be interested to talk and then go out as they had indicated a like or some such.
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I figured most would be courteous enough to at least respond, even if it's a thanks but no thanks. I always respond when I'm not interested and say why. To me this is just common courtesy. I know many people have different etiquette online then in person and I think that's a bunch of shit. Anyways I can see why some men would get frustrated, and if they express that to you rudely you should be grateful because he just did you a favor showing you that you don't want to date him anyway.
Ladies you have nothing to complain about if in your opinion you're receiving too much attention, even if only a few are quality that's reality anywhere. It kind of equates to complaining about making too much money. You can't take things personal online and let yourself become jaded and angry. If some jerk sends you dick pics or whatever as his opening line laugh it off and hit your delete button. Honestly it's not like you haven't seen one before, and it's not gonna jump off the screen and bite you lol.
Alright I think its time for me to get back to the real world, that fence in my front yard isn't going to paint itself oh how I wish.
Some of the Most Hilarious Online Dating Profiles
Hi David - Welcome to reality. You have to paint your fence. Most women on this site paint their own fences too. Just like you, I do not have eternity to message complete strangers on line. For your information, dating a man that lives in another city is impossible for me. Simply logistically impossible unless he has loads of dollars. Because I cannot afford to take time and money from work to run after some man 50 miles away. Guys - are you reading the profiles and does the woman seem to have anything in common with you?
Does she live nearby? Is she allergic to animals? I find the more details I put in my profile, the fewer messages I receive. That's fine by me because I do not want to have to reply to every guy who lives in a geographical location I have no way to get to. You would be amazed at the number of men who message me who are not accessible. They live to far away. How can I get to know them if I need to travel over an hour to meet them for a cup of coffee? Really guys - check it out before you think - hey, no one sent me a message.
There are loads of guys out there - handsome with good jobs that live near me - who love their dog. Because I am allergic to dogs and I would not expect the person to give up their pet for me. Other guys, handsome, nice property, etc. How will I date him? Spend a whole day on a road trip to have a cup of coffee with him? It is sort of flattering to receive a message. But it leaves me with a sinking feeling too - this guy is NOT anywhere near me. He has no means to make it easy for us to get together. I have to go paint my fence. I met someone on OkCupid.
I don't think it had anything to do with the website OkCupid just know that there are bad people out there and always go with your gut feeling he is currently in jail serving time for grand theft and fraud. I think all these dating sites should have some type of background check or a place for you can check people out. I did Google this person and nothing came up.
If it's too good to be true it is. I'm a male and must say, you have a damn good point about bgc's. Then again, if I may add, if only dating sites would show all the different profiles users have replied to in the past to get an idea what they're REALLY looking for, yuh know? Then calls to ask where we're meeting. I'm going back to the traditional way of meeting, so you can assess some of the chemistry right off.
There's a bit less of the weirdness of online and encountering guys that you know you're not compatible with. Some guys judge based on women not being interested or giving them a chance. Attraction, chemistry and compatibility is a two-way street and some guys assume it should be one sided when they're interested in you. For the ladies in similar circumstances of being stuck in the south, look at the contrast of the men in the north to the Night and day, by that I mean nc is low on decent, educated, articulate legally single men that don't have a few illegitimate kids.
I miss the north, just based on that. The guys down here scare me. I see so many women that have lessened and lowered their standards so much that they're broke down and look it. They will allow the low lifes to leech off of them and to just use them up. These articles written by women on online dating are always cynically amusing to me. You get so many messages, and some of them are crude and offend you. Or, you get to go on a date and the guy is a jerk and offends you and it doesn't work out.
Try being a guy. Try getting maybe one or two messages a month that are either from spambots or women ten years older than you that weigh more than you. One of the hidden powers of the internet is that it can collect information as well as display it. The vast majority of men on these sites are not good enough for the desires of the vast majority of women, and despite "equality," men are expected to do the work, all of it. Many, many good men see that they are ignored by girls who are still looking for the hunks, and they check out.
Some are still there, and will catch these women when "they're ready to settle down," but most will be too bitter and too wise to settle for a former party girl. Women say the worst thing that can happen is to be raped, but I don't think that is true. I think the worst thing that can happen is to never be desired by anyone for your entire life. You narcissists need to own the society you made by your own efforts. I would love to see what you look like, as well as your height. Natural selection must clearly be at play in your failed attempts to get womens' interest and it is obviously irking you into misogyny.
Sorry for your bad genetic luck. True man, women HATE nice men but proclaim to be seeking a "nice guy".
I am nice with no car and a crappy job. Try getting maybe one or two messages a month There are women who want to get to know you, talk to you, go out on a date with you, talk to you on the phone, see if you're a good man they want to have in your life. You're just too stuck up to get to know them because you think you "deserve better.
There are women interested in you. Get off your high horse and your pedestal, stop being so stuck up about physicality and age and talk to the nice women who took time to message you. Interesting that isnt it, why should he be gratefull yet women be offended? A cousin was dating a 29 year old when he was My sisters all called her a perv to her face. Stop being so bitter that you splice and dice reality. Going online moaning might not sound like it affects dating but it does. Women can tell guys that moan about this apart from guys that have respect and other guys won't like you.
On the Viber group I'm on all male all the guys are fed up with guys that rabbit on about 'friendzone' and other imaginary concepts and won't be friend with guys like that. Overall you just shoot yourself in the foot with this bull crap. Mate, the above article is actually understating some of the abuse women receive. One friend got tons of downright judgemental messages on one site for putting up a photo of her at a party on the basis of it "not being respectable". Another got a torrent of abuse from one guy on Tinder as she wouldn't respond to the ever innovative 'hi' failing to understand that matching doesn't mean he owns her.
Whenever I meet someone online I worry about scams - female friends have to worry about that PLUS where is safe to meet. It's all too common even offline - I was at a social event years ago where a guy threw a punch at a woman as she wouldn't sleep with him and I could hear him rant about how he had "earnt it" by chatting her up, and only for a female friend holding his arm he didn't connect. But I'm sure it's just cynically amusing for me to go on about sexual aggression any more.
To be fair the above advice on reading profile etc etc isn't exactly going to create a breakthrough. Google "Tolani Osan online dating first messages to reel them in" and read Tolani's article.