I know I'm being impatient c how long should I wait next time? The three day rule still sort of exists , for some people, anyway. I guess I could use the time to compose a draft response oh please don't do this -- it will be apparent, and it will probably be too long. You don't even know what you might be responding to.
First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs
Chill out, go for a walk. Get away from your computer. Don't bring your smartphone. Awesome person either will or will not respond, it's out of your hands now. Do not start a potential relationship with game-playing unless you want a relationship based on game-playing. She's probably not going to respond or maybe she's a quick-checker and does her responding at some less hurried time , but that's not because you replied right away.
You're thinking way too much about this. If you're the sort who camps in front of the PC or is always on the smartphone, go ahead and write back right away if you want. If you usually let things marinate, do that.
She hasn't written back. That might be because she has a ton of messages, she's on a great date, or because she'll write back tomorrow. Yes, it could also be because she thinks you're desperate, but maybe The One will be charmed with your instant attention. I usually read messages right away. I usually don't respond until after I've thought about it a little, and that bit of procrastination means sometimes it might take a couple days for me to get around to it. The timing of my response isn't really related to the timing of the other person's caveat: I try to respond to every message I get, and I have the impression that is not the norm.
Don't stress out too much about it. Also, what Lyn Never said. If someone writes to me and is interesting, I usually take about a day to respond. I will look at the person's profile and then think of a thoughtful reply, especially in the first message. I will generally decrease the time between messages as time goes on.
If I write someone first, I usually take things at the responder's pace. If it took 2 days for the guy to respond to me, I will wait at least a day to write to him. I don't want to overwhelm people. I sometimes feel overwhelmed when people respond too quickly. It's a tricky situation and I don't know all the correct answers. I had even toyed with the idea of asking a similar question to yours to get a general consensus of whether I'm following online dating etiquette.
Also, I've had women on okcupid reply back to me months after my last message. Don't sweat it, there are more of them out there. You're overthinking the problem. She'll reply sometime later if she wants to, and she already responded to you once so clearly she's not completely uninterested. Perhaps she saw the new message notification, went to read it, and is planning to reply later? That's pretty common I would imagine. Treat it like you would any other type of communication.
Replying 30 seconds later looks desperate, but anywhere in the later that day to the few days later range is just fine until you know each better. I get email notice that I have new okc messages and will sometimes use the mobile site to read a new message. OKC shows that I've logged on, but I never write responses from my phone - that happens on the weekend when I can log into my home computer. But I want to check the inbox in case a date cancelled, etc. Please don't write a response to a message you haven't seen yet. Otherwise, everything you're saying sounds good.
Hopefully you feel better now you've got a load of near-instant askme responses. But I wouldn't worry about this one message. Because, you know, it's You happened to be by the computer, so you responded promptly. It would be silly to hold this against you.
It IS you - why the longer it takes someone to reply to a text, the less they like you
If I had to make up a rule, I'd say: As a disclaimer, this is just my speculation based on my experience as a straight man who uses OKCupid. Not being a woman, I obviously could be wrong about how women perceive these things. Straight women generally have more luxury than straight men to filter people out based on trivial factors, so, as you know, one can't assume that straight-male thinking is the same as straight-female thinking when it comes to online dating.
But really, I just respond when I get a chance. I assume people realize that there are random fluctuations with this kind of thing. Getty Get daily news updates directly to your inbox Subscribe See our privacy notice More newsletters. Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice. Read More Dating, relationships, sex and break-ups. Subscribe to our Daily news newsletter Enter email Subscribe. Lifestyle all Most Read Most Recent. Human body Genetic stealth disease 'bigger threat' than experts thought - here are the signs Research from Exeter University details that haemochromatosis could affect up to 20 times more people than earlier figures suggested - here's what to look out for.
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11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses
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NBC News did a little investigating, and found that bad weather goes hand in hand with increased activity on dating sites and apps.
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In many cases, the increase was pretty dramatic. Send her a light-hearted follow up message like this one:. The more messages you send, the more desperate you look.
First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground
Women are too smart to fall for them. Not only do copy and paste messages work , but we get incredible results for our clients with them. Other industry experts recognize the wisdom of the copy and paste method as well. And even if a woman calls you out on sending a template message, so what? And many intelligent women recognize the wisdom of using them, like this one who weighed in on a Quora forum discussion:. Nothing kills your online dating game quicker than being dull.
11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses
You have to keep her attention every step of the way, and build attraction with every message. You can skip all that stress, and go straight to the dates. Our online dating experts handle your profile, your photo, and all that tedious back-and-forth messaging.