People come to church seeking spiritual community, not to be romantically pursued by the minister of that community. Does anyone want hundreds of pairs of eyes on their relationship? What if the whole thing goes sour? Again, those days are over. If a fabulous, dateable lady shows up at your church and you want to date her and vice versa, have the conversation about her or your leaving the church pronto. Therefore, there should be no encouragement of introductions to eligible single family members or friends to the single minister.
We must keep our dating foibles private. I live in a parsonage and have a neighbor parishioner who is a big, jovial uncle type with whom I am very close.
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We all want you to be happy. The fact is, it benefits the entire congregation when a minister is happy and well-matched. My predecessor in this congregation has an amazing wife who was every bit a partner in his long pastorate and much beloved by everyone. I would dearly love to have a wife who could provide that same kind of presence and support me in the same ways. If our people want to help us find a great hubby or wife, more power to them.
Make time to nurture your social life. What job holds more at stake than eternity? Decide to enjoy the challenges. Remember that God is in the challenge. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Hey — welcome to the wonderful world of us crazy writers!! It has been the adventure of a lifetime! We have two beautiful little girls and live in Vancouver, WA.
Home About Coffee Church. They were actually expecting him to pick.
Is it Inappropriate to Date My Youth Pastor?
He is a pastor after all. The spiritual lives of people are actually dependent on him. On the other hand however, relationships that succeed need time to flourish. So, you both must come to a compromise.
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Talk to him calmly and both of you figure out a solution. Romantic relationships and ministry are two very sensitive things. So you can imagine what happens when you merge them. You must bear this in mind from the very beginning.
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If there is no one you can go to and that he will listen to when there is a problem, then that is a red flag. Sometimes, you might not even need them to talk to him, but just someone to listen to and give you advice. Talk to a spiritual leader who is wise and can be discrete. Especially if you both attend different churches, this could be an issue. Before getting married, be sure that you both agree on the basics. What is his understanding of the gospel? What is his take on the charismatic ministry of the Holy Spirit?
Dating Etiquette for Single Pastors
What is his theology about money? Every other thing would be dependent on whether or not you have a call to pastoral ministry, your personal gifts and the expectations of your husband-to-be. Leave nothing to assumptions. What do you believe God is leading you to do? Does it tally with the direction your man is going? What areas can your assignments be merged?
What should be kept separate? Prayerfully consider it before taking the next big step. I mentioned this before but it is so important I must mention it again. You must spend time in prayer and in the study of the word for your personal spiritual growth. Your relationship with God must come first. This is also important because many times, you will need to remind your man of the word.
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Pastors get discouraged too, and sometimes only the women who love them can see it. I must also say this: Everyone will not come and live with you in that marriage.
Find out who not to marry on my post: Please share your experience in the comments section. We would love to learn from you. And if you have any questions, I would love to hear from you. Please email me here.