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Dating your mirror

Do you find yourself looking for a girl who is identical to you in every respect? Maybe you love sports and are athletically inclined, have an affinity for classical music and are a lover of the arts.

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Are you always on the lookout for a girl who has all the same likes? Why is this so? Is it that you are afraid that if you find someone different from you, it will be totally incompatible? Rest assured that is not completely true. Or you think that initially they attract, but once they discover more about each other, discord sets in.

Everyone is Your Mirror - The Greatest Relationship Secret

According to you, it is best if two people base a relationship on similarities rather than having nothing much in common. But that is taking a very narrow view of things. By doing so, you are closing yourself off from many interesting possibilities. A person who is different from you or who has qualities, interests or pursuits separate from your's, may just enrich your life. Ever thought about that?

Are you looking for a mirror image in a mate?

For instance, Mike, a finance executive, hated traveling, partying and shopping. Lisa, a self-professed wild child, was a regular on the party circuit and adored the thrill of exploring new places. The first time Mike met her, he actually took a step back. But what he found engaging was the interest she had in anything new, and despite himself, he got drawn into a conversation with her. And was pleased to discover she was fascinated when he got passionate about baseball.


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He enjoyed it like never before, caught up in her enthusiasm and in explaining the intricacies of the game to her. He says, "At the end of it, she was hooked on to baseball and I got hooked on her. Therein lies the crux of the issue. If you just open yourself up to the joy of discovering another person, however unlike each other you are, you will surprise yourself.

Someone who is on the lookout for a partner similar in every possible way loses out on so many interesting combinations. And then may bemoan their single status, not realizing the impossible standards they are setting and how they are losing out due to this. Finding someone dissimilar can enrich our lives with newer experiences if we're receptive.

In confining yourself to finding someone who is your mirror image, you may be denying yourself the privilege of meeting someone who will enhance your life. Learn to recognise yourself in other people. Everything and everyone is your mirror. It is only when you understand what it truly means to see yourself reflected back at you, that there is no room for blame, there is no room for judgement and there is no room to feel like a victim of another person's actions or words.

There is only room for real love based on understanding and gratitude. Compromise comes easy, forgiveness is a given and growth is inevitable. While this truth applies to all of your relationships, from your family, to your friends and colleagues, and even to those you deem your "enemy", it is your relationship with your significant other that enables you to take the closest, most accurate look at who you are. When Only the Face Seems to Change: It is certainly no secret that all your intimate relationships tend to be similar. Surely you have noticed how the fundamentals seem to remain the same while only the face changes.

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The repetition of the same problems, the same feelings and the same insecurities often leave you despondent and even reluctant to try again. You surrender yourself to the belief that relationships are difficult and require much compromise and that the only relationship secret out there is luck, timing or even Divine Will. You can't help but notice how what starts off with such hope often ends with no hope at all.

There is One Common Denominator: What you perhaps haven't noticed though, is that in all these repetitive relationships there has always only been one common denominator - YOU. Whoever the person is that you have next to you, no matter how many times you change him or her, the fundamentals of your relationship will remain unchanged albeit to varying degrees because they are simply mirroring you. It can be no other way. This realisation may frustrate you at first and you may even reject the truth that everyone is your mirror.

However, you will quickly come to see it as great news because it means that you too can enjoy those loving relationships that previously seemed out of reach. To do so, the only person you need to influence is yourself. What are You Really Seeing in the Mirror: To internalise this truth, that everyone is your mirror, you must first understand it. Your relationships with others are your opportunity to experience yourself and grow.

They are a perfect mirror of your inner relationship with yourself and the beliefs you have acquired about life and love. Everything you admire in another person belongs to you and the same goes for all that which you dislike. In order for you to recognise a certain quality in another, then it must be part of your consciousness. You could not see it otherwise. Essentially, the bottom-line cause of break-ups and divorce, is when one or both of the partners can no longer stand to see themselves in the other person.

To best understand how everyone is your mirror, think in terms of these three categories: Your Beliefs are Staring You in the Face: Your beliefs about relationships, about men, about women, about love and life in general are all there for you to see in your relationships.

We have all acquired certain beliefs throughout our lifetime that cause us to react and act in certain habitual ways that either support us or don't. This is most notable in our relationships because in order to experience anything or anyone you must first relate to it.

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For instance, if you believe that men or women are not to be trusted no matter how trustworthy you are , or if you yourself have been willing to be the "other woman" or "other man" in the past, then by the Law of Attraction you will attract relationships in which a lack of trust is a major issue because that is where you have chosen to vibrate. Even if your partner is being faithful to you, you will look for reasons to prove otherwise and, as the saying goes, you always find what you are looking for.

The problem is that you did not consciously choose many if not any of those beliefs that govern your experiences and relationships at the subconscious level. Instead, your beliefs were, unbeknown to you, handed to you by society, the media, your parents and your friends. There are also those beliefs that came part and parcel with your culture and upbringing, and the stricter your culture in the area of relationships, the more ingrained those specific beliefs.

Are you looking for a mirror image in a mate? | Futurescopes

Since your relationships are based on those beliefs, your experiences only prove to re-enforce them for you, thereby creating something of a virtuous or vicious cycle depending on whether your beliefs support a healthy and balanced relationship or not. Owning Up to Your Qualities: Every quality that you see in your partner, whether you admire it or not, is your mirror - it is showing you who you are. The more you dislike a certain quality, the more it is showing you a part of your consciousness that you are not acknowledging.

For instance, if you dislike your partner's jealous nature, you will find that you too are jealous perhaps not of him or her but of others. If your partner's competitiveness annoys you, you will find that you too are competitive. If your partner's negativity or insecurities get you down, you will find that you too have a negative nature and the same insecurities. The only reason that these qualities are annoying you is because they are also yours.