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When I tell straight people I met a guy on Grindr , their response every time is: Maybe not a boyfriend, but something a bit more fulfilling than a quickie. The same goes for all the gay dudes who go to clubs in the Village, or hit up sites ManHunt or the like. Straight folk might think gay guys just have tons of random sex all the time some do, to be fair but we also go on dates, just like everybody else.
There's something of a formula to a first date between two dudes. In some ways it's similar to any other first date, in others, it's quite different and gay guy-specific. Either way, it goes something like this:. No one likes to get stood up, and for whatever reason, gay guys think it's totally cool to just flake out on a date. Hence, the confirmation text. This is especially important when a guy replies "yeah sure" and "why not" to you proposing a date in the first place. One of you will arrive to the date spot earlier, it's just how the world works.
After the whole "oh, I'm just waiting for someone" moment with the serve, whoever arrives first will use the extra time to go over the others pics one more time. This is partly to ensure you smile to the right person when they enter the venue, and partly to make sure you didn't make a huge mistake and go out with someone who can hide their fugz really well.
Organically meeting someone at a party or the like is simply super rare in the kingdom of gay. As such, the two of you are going to have a mildly-to-very awkward hello. Do you kiss each other on the cheek?
17 Practical Gay Dating Tips for the New Age | HuffPost
Do you shake hands? Do you do anything beyond "hi, nice to meet you? The question will never be answered. Now that you're both sitting down and are waiting on your beverages, the date really begins. The only question is: Only a weirdo would actually remember a half-hour text-versation from two days ago, right? Say it's stereotypical, but there are a few things almost every gay dude watches.
RuPaul's Drag Race is one of them.
We're not all about hook ups.
Other queer-centric shows like American Horror Story and much to my chagrin Sex and the City are examples. Usually you can find some prerequisite "gay" show quotes because I think the idea of a gay show is actually ridiculous to dish about. Otherwise you can use their list to pretty much judge the other guy's entire character. Seriously, the Buff-ster is like a cheat code straight into my pants.
This has come up on every single first date I've ever been on, and it kind of makes sense. Coming out to your family and friends is the one experience almost every gay guy can share, so it sparks a conversation both of you can relate to. Plus you get some decent backstory on your new boy.
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Some guys haven't even come out despite them going on dates, which makes a whole other mess of awkward. Anyways, this is kind of inevitable, so just roll with it. Again, kind of unavoidable, especially if there are some hotties in your direct vicinity. Be cool and be yourself. Dress comfortably and in clothing that makes you feel good about yourself.
Make sure you and your date are on the same page about the style of dress for your date. In my own dating days, I showed up for a second date in a nice oxford shirt and jeans to then find my other half dressed to the nines in a French suit not realizing his intentions for the evening. He then changed into more casual clothes and took me to a family restaurant instead.
His image of me instantly changed and he stopped seeing me after that. He did us both a favor by ending things, but at the time it was quite humiliating.
- 17 Practical Gay Dating Tips for the New Age?
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So be clear to avoid any miscommunication. During the Date Be punctual and relax. You are great just as you are. Be attentive to your date. Have an open posture and let your nonverbal communication and body language convey interest in learning about your date.
Balance active listening with sharing things about yourself. Ask open-ended questions to gain more elaboration on points made in your discussion to stretch out conversations and learn more about your date. Be positive and let your sense of humor shine through. Avoid controversial topics of discussion as these may be offensive to your date. You can ease into these the more you get to know him. Avoid alcohol, as this may alter your behavior, and stay away from sexual content and innuendo. Unless sex is the motivation for your date, introducing sexual talk into your first date can set the tone in an inappropriate direction.
After the Date Whether your date was a smash hit or a disaster, exercise good manners and thank your new acquaintance for the date. How did you feel? How did you manage yourself during the date? What would you have changed? What did you learn about yourself as a result of this date?
Gay Dating Tips: 7 Things to Avoid on a First Date
How would you rate the date and the guy you met? From what you can tell so far, is there compatibility with your personal requirements and vision for a life partner? Is he matching up thus far with your needs, wants, goals, and values?